Star Trek: Phoenix-X « Thread Started on Apr 9, 2003, 8:43pm »
Star Trek: Phoenix-X The Tiloniam System
Stardate 51599.74
(Somewhere in the Tiloniam System) (On the shuttle craft from the U.S.S. Xena.) Dan: Okay, lets get outta here. Night: Good idea. We'll rondezous with the ship in 10 minutes. Warp 2....lets make that 4... Dan: Are you sure you know what your doing? Night: ...trust me. (Shuttle craft goes warp speed)
(On the Pheonix) Admiral Daniel: Hah! You think you can escape from me. Yeah right. Like you have a chance. My ship is the fastest ship in the Fleet. Let alone you are a shuttle craft. If you don't respond, I will have to ask you to lower your shields and board your little Shuttle Craft. Heh, heh...The only thing I ask is an answer. Geez. These Humans.
(On the shuttle craft) Ensign Dan: Sir, a federation vessel. Night: Really? Here? Dan: It's the Pheonix, sir. Night: Full stop. (Shuttle craft descends warp.) Night: Where's the Pheonix? Dan: It seems we stopped to late. They're out of sensor's range. Night: Well there's a fine mistake. Dan: We're getting a message. Night: On screen. Dan: It's pre-recorded, and audio only. Night: Okay, let's hear it. *On speakers: Admiral Daniel X: Hah! You think you can escape from me. Yeah right. Like you have a chance. My ship is the fastest ship in the Fleet. Let alone you are a shuttle craft. If you don't respond, I will have to ask you to lower your shields and board your little Shuttle Craft. Heh, heh... The only thing I ask is an answer. Night: Well, looks like Daniel got his way after all. Dan: Sir? Night: He's an Admiral, flying a Federation vessel. I never thought he'd get his way...heh, heh... His crew calls him Captain anyway. Dan: You know him? Night: Yup, I met him about 82 years ago... At a Federation Eelstock Convention, I think at Flortarios III. He was only a Lieutenant, and I was in my fourth host so he shouldn't remember me. He always gets his way with the Federation. **beep, beep** (The Pheonix catches up) Dan: It's the Pheonix sir, they're hailing us. Night: On screen... *Admiral: How come you ignored my hail the first time? We detected no malfunction in communications. If I didn't know better, you were ignoring us. Now please identify yourself. Security, I want your men to be ready to board the shuttle if they provoke us. *Walace: Acknowledged Admiral.
(On the Xena) Captian Aeris: Where are those two? Lieutenant: Captian, I'm recieveing a distress signal from the U.S.S. Ixion, a fleet of Jem'Hadar Attack Crusiers are heading towards the location of the shuttle craft. Aeris: ...What!?
(On the shuttle craft) Night: Sorry, we have been having technical difficulties on the shuttle craft. *Daniel: Well... *Helm: Captian, I'm detecting Jem'Hadar attack cruisers. Night: Dan, can you confirm that? Ensign Dan: Affirmative. I'm detecting ten Jem'Hadar ships off the port bow.
(Jem'Hadar vessel fires torpedos on the shuttle craft)
(On the Shuttle Craft) Night: Shields down to 20%. Ensign Dan: One more shot and we're.....you know, not alive anymore.
(Jem'Hadar vessel fires torpedos towards Federation Shuttle craft)
(On the Pheonix) Daniel: Transporter room, beam those two now!
(Shuttle craft is hit and explodes)
(On the Pheonix) *Transporter Engineer: We've got them. Daniel: Okay...lets prepare battle...
(On Deep Space 9) Sisko: Status. Dax: The Pheonix is losing life support systems, the other two Starfleet ships have arrived there. (Captian Sisko sips his coffee) Sisko: Keep me up to date.
(On a Jem'Hadar ship) Vorta: When we destroy this system, the Federation will know to be afraid of us. This is our last mission, the Founders are honoured by your sacrafice. Test our new weapon, if it works, send a subspace message back home and tell them that it works. Ready? First: Ready. Lock J-3 Torpedo on the closest Federation ship....Fire.
(J-3 Torpedo is fired onto the Pheonix.) (The Pheonix suffers bad damage)
(On the Pheonix) Daniel: Maxwell is not going to like what I've done to his ship. Commander Avery: Captian, let's get out of here!! Daniel: No! We will not leave the people in this system to die! Avery: d**n you! (Suddenly a control panel explodes and knocks the Commander to the floor) Lieutenant: Captian, shields down to 10%. *Kugo: Captian, the core is experiencing multifluxuations. Daniel: Reason? *Kugo: It must've been that last torpedo, all the core started emitting a pink glow since then.
(On Deep Space 9) Dax: Three ships destroyed. Captian, only one ship is firing at the Pheonix. Sisko: What? Dax: Six vessels are firing quantum torpedos at the star. (Sisko stands) Sisko: When that star explodes, it'll annialate all the planets in the system, and the three Federation ships. Kira: The inhabitants are already beamed out of the planet.
(On the Pheonix) Armond: I've got an idea. If we can reroute phaser anti-matter into the shield's outter shell, then any torpedo coming this way would be richocheted. Daniel: This is not the time for speculations. Armond: That last torpedo hit restabiliezed shield matter-anti-matter couplings and matched them to phaser signatures. This can work. Daniel: Make it so.
(In engineering) Kugo: Captian, core dumped. Ensign Dan: Now we can't go anywhere. Kugo: Shouldn't you be on the Bridge? Ensign Dan: Yeah, I've got some lip to give that Captian.
(On bridge) Armond: Ready! Daniel: Shields! Lieutenant Kayl: Shields up. 1%....2%... Armond: Reflector shields won't hold after one shot. (The Pheonix gets fired upon) Armond: Reflected shot. (Phaser beam reflects and destroys the Jem'Hadar vessel) Lieutenant: Shields down. Daniel: Darn!
(In sick-bay) Night: What's going on? EMH: I don't know, they never give me any information.
(On the Xena) Aeris: Is that the Pheonix? They look badly damaged. Wing: Affirmative. Aeris: Beam everyone from the Pheonix over. *Daniel: Captian, it looks as if the star is ready to explode! Onegera: We've almost got everybody! 20 more seconds.
(The star explodes)(The wave from the star gets closer to the Pheonix and Xena) (A Jem'Hadar ship vapourizes in the wave)
(On the Xena) Onegera: We've got them all. Aeris: Helm! Warp anything! Get us outta here!
(The wave vapourizes the Pheonix)(The Xena goes to warp out of the system)
(On Deep Space 9) (Ops) Dax: The Xena has beamed up all passengers from the Pheonix. (Sisko looks up) Dax: There on their way back here. Kira: The star has exploded, all Jem'Hadar ships have evacuated. The Pheonix was destroyed.
(On Starbase 55) Admiral Theseus: Contact Deep Space 9. Admiral Cloud: What are you doing? Theseus: This is it, Vincent. Cloud: What is it? Theseus: The first day of a new era. Cloud: What are you talking about? Theseus: Guards, by order of Starfleet Command, escort Admiral Vincent Cloud to Sickbay. Cloud: What!? No! Let go of me! (The two Federation gaurds grab Cloud and leave the room) Theseus: To have his memory erased... Captian Cid: You're going to deploy the Pheonix-X? Theseus: Affirmative. Contact that Admiral....Admiral Daniel...Or should I say, Captian Daniel Cid: You're demoting him? Theseus: I'm not demoting him, Starfleet Command is. Cid: Why? Theseus: You'll think of a reason.
(On Deep Space 9) Aeris: Well, Night, I'm proud to have had you as part of my crew. Night: I'm proud to have been under your command. Aeris: Good luck.
(In a room in front of the crew of the Pheonix) Daniel: I've just recieved a message from Starfleet. Because Commander Goosen reporting my actions on interrigating him that time..- Ensign Dan: And this is not the only time Daniel has done something like this, the Federation is upset of him. Daniel: You're relieved of duty! Ensign Dan: But I'm not on duty. Daniel: Then...when you go on duty, you'll be relieved! Ensign Dan: ...Yes sir. Daniel: With a successful plea bargain, I am to command a new Pheonix..as Captian... Night: As Captian...you're not Admiral anymore? Daniel: No...Only this ship will be different. Qualities of it are...unique. I will be very proud to command...the Pheonix-X. And I hear I should be getting a new Commander. Ensign Dan: Sir-- Daniel: No! You're relieved! Ensign Dan: Jeez, talking Jello. Daniel: You're relieved too! (With Night Goosen) Night: Waitaminute, it's my fault he's demoted? Commander Avery: So you are the pathetic one who took my place. Night: Yeah, that's right. Watcha gonna do about it? You better get outta my face before I bust a plasma cell up on yo' gludios maximus. Avery: I'll be watching you Goosen. Your every mistake, fault, and scratch. When I'm done with you, your career in Starfleet will be forgotten. (Avery walks away)
(The Pheonix-X undocks DS9)
END
Daniel - Rank: Captain - Species: Changeling Night Goosen - Rank: Commander - Species: Trill USS Phoenix-X - Class: Multi-Vector Assault - Engine: Ultra-Transwarp / Warp
Joined: Oct 2002 Gender: Male Posts: 159 Location: Southern Connecticut USA
Re: Star Trek: Phoenix-X « Reply #1 on Apr 10, 2003, 5:23am »
The effort is commendable, but the dialog is, shall we say, juvenile? All the characters talk like 15 year old girls. A Starfleet Admiral saying "Yeah, right, like you have a chance." I don't think so. If you're going to write in a script format, at least write some setting notes to let people know what the scene is. You as the writer know exactly what's going on and where, but readers don't.
Re: Star Trek: Phoenix-X « Reply #3 on Apr 12, 2003, 1:02am »
...And so another Starfleet ship is launched to embark upon many exciting adventures. Adventures as such that lead to bad situations...
Star Trek: Pheonix-X "Missed the Mishap"
(On the Pheonix-X) (On the Bridge) Lt. Red: Detecting a Cardassian vessel. Night: Hail them. Red: They've responded. Night: On screen. (The Cardassian captian is on screen) Night: Meloneus, so we meet again. *Meloneus: Yes, and under good terms this time. Night: Unfortunately. *Meloneus: Unfortunately. (Pause) Dan: At least we're all friends here. *Meloneus: Where's Agenos? Night: He's here. But you first. *(Daniel is shoved onto the Cardassian Vessel's Bridge) *Meloneus: You see his state is...well, see? *(Daniel's skin a molding and clothes are rotting) Night: What happened? Lt. Cmdr. Armond: It seems he's not able to change shape. And he looks like he's going to die. *Daniel: ...uuhh...it's a tra...ugh...p... (A Cardassian punches Daniel in the face) Red: What did he say? Night: Enough! We trade now! *Meloneus: I agree. Night: Commander Goosen to Lieutenant Walace. *Walace: Yes Cap'n? Night: Bring Agenos to the transporter room and wait for me there. *Walace: Ey' Cap'n.
(In the Transporter Room) Night: Ready Kayl? (Lt. Kayl nods) Night: Goosen to Red, ready? *Red: Yes. Night: Lower shields. Energize. (Agenos gets beamed out)(Suddenly Night is beamed out) Kayl: Lieutenant Kayl to Bridge. The Commander has just been beamed out, and the Captian is not here.
(On the Bridge) Red: What!? That wasn't supposed to happen! Raise shields! It was supposed to be a clean trade...
(In sickbay) Ensign Dan: So, I'm think'n of dressing up as a Borg...for the holodeck you know. Waddaya think? EMH: According to Starfleet Medical research, Borg implants can cause severe skin irritations. Ensign Dan: Oh. Well you know, I was hoping to get around that with some Datanian Swabs, very good candy.
(Later on the bridge Leuitenant Wallace and Armond) Armond: I now take command of the ship. (Below his voice......) Armond: Yes! Wallace: So what do we do Leuitenant? Armond: I really don't know.......I guess we can start by asking where the ship went. So, where did it go Red? Red: It went towards Cardassian space. Armond: Set a course. Maximum Warp. (The Pheonix-X goes towards the Cardassian space at full warp) Armond: I want all senior officers in my ready room immediately. Wallace, before you go, inform DS9 of our actions, we might need some back up from the Defiant. Wallace: Okay sir. (Later in the Ready Room) Armond: Okay, we are aware of the situation. Ensign Dan: I'm not. Armond: One thing Dan, you are not a senior officer, and the other thing is that you have no business in this. You are relieved! Get out of here. Anyways.....Chief Kayl, how is our Transporters doing? Kayl: Fine Leuitenant. Armond: Chief Engineer Kugo, will we be able to sustain warp until Cardassian Space? Kugo: I believe so- (BOB enters the room) Kugo: As I was saying, I believe so sir. Armond: That's great. I still want you to improve the warp nacelle to an extra 26%. Kugo: Okay. Armond: BOB, I assign you to weapons control. BOB: Ey' sir. Armond: The plan is that we are going to get that ship with the Multi Vector seperation. Then I want Kayl to beam the Captain and Commander out of there. Then it will be your turn, Red and Kugo, to get us out of here with cover from BOB. Everyone has their orders. Dismissed.
(On the bridge) Red: We are right behind the Cardassian ship. What is our next action? Armond: Battlestations, red alert. Engage now!
(On the run-away Cardassian ship) (In the holding cells)(Night and Daniel each in seperate ones) Night: Captian, are you alright? Daniel: Ugh...no... Night: What happened to you? It looks like you are falling apart, all of you is pealing. Uck. Daniel: It's that device over there...uhh... Night: Yeah? Daniel: It keeps me from changing shape...a...and regenera..ting... A-at this ra..t...rate...I will die in 2 hours... Night: What do they want with us? Daniel: They want to know where the home planet for the Founders is... (Meloneus enters) Night: What's goin' on!? I thought we'd signed a temporary truce? Meloneus: I thought you'd learn from last time...not to trust me. Daniel: ...ugh...last time? (Meloneus turns his head) Meloneus: Long ago, he captured me on the Xena when we were under attack from Romulans. Many people died on the ship and I was his last hope to help control the ship. He trusted me with the ship but I took control over it! Kayahahahah! I beamed onto a Romulan ship before he took back control over his ship. And then I took over the Romulan ship! Kayahahahaah!! Now... I have the key to the Founders planet and a Federation hostage....
(On the Pheonix-X) Wallace: The Federation has sent three local starships, the Defiant, the Xena, and a Klingon Bird of Prey. Armond: Good, keep velocity. How much longer 'till interception? Red: About 25 minutes sir. Ensign Dan: Do you think that's enough? Just the four of us? Don't you think the Cardassians will come up with more back up than four? Armond: No, he's still too far away from a Cardassian base. Red: External sensors read there are five other Cardassian vessels heading towards Meloneus' ship. Ensign Dan: I told you so.
(In the holding cells) Daniel: ughhh.......I'm losing my consciousness. I can't hold .......on. Night: Captain! Captain! Can you hear me? Daniel: Yes. Night: I thought you lost conscious. Daniel: I did. So don't ask me any questions. Night: We have to get out of here. Wait there's a default in that disruptor. You can still change shape! I have a plan. But I need you to complete it. Daniel: I'll try my best. What did you have in mind? Night: Okay, I need you to try to get through those terillium bars. I know you can get through them. Just concentrate. Daniel: I can't. Night: You need to. Try! Daniel: UGGhhhhh.... Night: That's the idea. There you go. Daniel: Squish Squish Night: Understood. Daniel: Squish Squash (Captain slides through the bars. He now is in his gelatin state like a puddle on the ground.) Night: Captain, I need you to disable that disruptor. Go, I know you can do it. (Captain reaches up from the puddle and crushes it with his remaining strength. He then regains his energy.) Daniel: I'm back. Now they are going to pay. (Captain is on his way out of the door.) Night: Wait. How about me? Free me! Daniel: Oh yeah. I forgot. Oopsy! Night: Uh! Daniel: Hey now! Our fisrt task is to find out our location and contact the ship. (The ship suddenly shakes from being hit by the Federation.)
(On bridge) Meloneus: All hands to battlestations! Red Alert. We are under attack from the Federation.
(In a hallway) Daniel: Great! Now we know that they are here. Night: We just have to contact them.
(On the Pheonix-X) Armond: Initiate Multi-Vector Seperation mode. Target the Cardassian vessel holding our men. Attack mode Alpha Omega Beta.
(The ship seperates into three. All the components attack the Cardassian ship. The rest of the ships attack the other back up Cardassian ships, giving it cover.)
(On the Cardassian ship with Meloneus.) Meloneus: You over there. Counter now. maneuver around them now!
(In a hallway) Daniel: We have to arm ourselves. Night: What's in here? Oh it's an armory. Here, phazer rifles. Daniel: Great. Let's make our way up to the bridge. Night: Okay. (The ship is shaking and rumbling because of the attack.)
(On bridge) Helm: Meloneus, the Pheonix-X is hailing us. Meloneus: On screen. *Armond: You are messing with the wrong people. We'll pound your ship into scrap metal. Meloneus: I beg to differ. *Armond: I bet. *BOB: How much? *Armond: Shut up. You are ruining the moment. Meloneus: We still have your Captain. (The Captain and Commander enter the bridge) Daniel: I beg to differ. Meloneus: I just said that. Doesn't matter. I'll just blow up the ship. Self-destruct initi- Night: Oh shut up. (Commander phazers him.) Daniel: Good job. Pheonix-X, we are ready to go now. Beam us out. And beam these Cardassians to the brig. Wallace, I want you to Tractor this ship. Captain out. (The other Cardassian ships are either destroyed or has retreated.)
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